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A complimentary book for those that are dating is Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't. I think just the fact that this book has over 325 high reviews by a wide of variety of people including law enforcement, psychologists, etc., speaks more loudly than anything I could write here. In places it gets repetitious, but that is a minor point. This book has broad-based appeal and something for everyone. However, I would like to add my two cents that it is a book with information that could literally save your life. It is interesting, engaging and full of real life stories.
You must learn to use it and practice with it. Don't ever "play" with them, even if you've checked and confirmed that the gun is empty.2. And so we ignore this gift of fear to our own detriment. Perhaps his negative position on firearms (which in retrospect was mingled through the book) was due to his own trauma as a child that involved a firearm. But in the midst of a dangerous situation, there is no time for analysis, only action. De Becker builds his theory first from his own traumatic experience as a child, and then from the experiences of those he as worked with and interviewed during his career as a security consultant. Be constantly aware of where a gun is pointing, and do not let the muzzle ever point in an irresponsible direction.4. Western Culture is filled with rationalists who despise superstition and emotionalism, and while we have had great success in applying Reason to science and logic, there is a great danger in making Reason the measure of all things.In this book, De Backer makes the case that there is another part of our mind that we should listen to besides reason, our survival intuition.
Some of the stories told are disturbing, but perhaps necessary. In any case, the firearm is the most effective tool for self defense, but must be used responsibly, so here's what De Becker should have said about gun safety.1. Always point the gun in a safe direction. Don't touch it.3. Several section of the book tell how to first understand why certain types of people may become violent, and then how to spot and interpret the danger signs. He likens it to a computer program that runs unseen in the background, picking up on details of our environment that we are consciously unaware of, and gives us the instinct of fear when we are in danger. However, we have become so accustomed to acting only on "reason" that we often ignore this legitimate fear because we cannot immediately give a "rational" explanation for it. Get properly trained.
Keep you finger OFF the trigger until you are ready to fire. Treat every gun as if it were loaded. He rants about supposedly irresponsible gun manufacturers and gun locks, and uses false analogies and meaningless statistics to leave you with the impression that a firearm is somehow inherently evil, and you can catch "stray bullets" in the air much like you can catch the flu. A gun is not a good luck charm.
If you miss, you are responsible for where the bullet goes.5. Take an NRA course and go shooting from time to time. When you shoot, be aware of your target and what is behind it. But the reasons are there, and can be brought to the surface if given time to process the details.
People instinctively want to touch the trigger, even when picking a gun up. What he neglects to address is the person behind the trigger, for the gun is just a tool controlled by the user. De Becker argues for listening to and acting upon that fear, and helps the reader sort out what is actual fear as opposed to worry, panic, anxiety, and the like.I found the book very helpful. De Becker argues that all acts of violence are predictable if we pay attention to the danger signs rather than ignoring them.The only blight I found in the book was the appendix on "gun safety", which wasn't about gun safety at all, but a diatribe right out of liberal gun control play book.
Excellent information, it should be mandatory reading for all young women. I bought this book for myself and as a graduation gift for a young women.
In fact, the premise of this work actually forms the foundation of several 'defensive response' training programs across the country (such as police training). As the author points out, there are (usually) warning signs indicating that a violent event may occur. Of course, there are always those rare people who instinctively respond to threats in the "appropriate manner"; for everyone else, there is "The Gift of Fear.") Clearly, learning to recognize potential threats and respond rationally is certainly a valuable technique.one worthy of a book exploring this process. Arguably, teaching someone to recognize these signs (or 'trust their gut' if you will) may save his/her life one day. From that perspective, what do you have to lose (besides, well.).
The book empowers the reader, it's better than any self-defense course, and it requires less of a time commitment. There's more to it than simply avoiding all dark alleys or considering yourself entirely safe because you carry pepper spray. I've heard the principle behind karate is that ideally you should never have to use it. That's great, so the real question is, "If I don't want to get mugged, and I ideally I shouldn't use karate, what the heck should I use."The answer is in this book.Simply put: Learn to use your instincts, to sharpen your awareness of your own fear, to recognize real potential danger, and to avoid it.The book is easy to understand, it dives into the psychology of fear without swamping the reader with jargon, and it uses many anecdotes to explain the right and wrong ways people handle dangerous situations.
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